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LiveJournal for Nicole.

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Wednesday, January 23rd, 2002

Time:7:28 pm.

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Friday, January 11th, 2002

Time:1:51 pm.
I have a new journal.

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Time:1:01 pm.
every day i miss the retro lunch. but thats ok cos when i turned the radio on, radiohead was on. <3.
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Time:11:59 am.
so it's not food poisioning. I went to my doc's yesterday and he sai it was that dreaded stomache bug. I havent thrown up since yesterday around 2, so i'm doing ok. Plus I ate some chicken soup. yeah. hooray for being not sick. Well. I still have a fever, but thats ok. I cant go to gilroys thing tonite. i'm mad :( Hopefully my other plans wont be ruined, but I dont think i'll be better in a day. nope.
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Thursday, January 10th, 2002

Time:12:41 pm.
ahhh. I have food poisioning. I feel like crap. I cant even drink water. I've been up since 4AM puking my brains out. we ate fish for dinner last night and everyone is very sick from it. i feel terrible. and i'm thirsty. :( i need to feel better.
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Wednesday, January 9th, 2002

Time:5:49 pm.
Today was the craziest day in the history of the world.

MC and I were walking to school, and i was just like. no. dont go. so we didnt. and we walked around the WHOLE town, and it was so boring. for SIX HOURS we walked. We ended up at YPI, and it was REALLLY weird, cos they were like "hey, stranger" and making me feel like a jerk. uhh, so we were on the east side until like 1, and we decided to go back to school. Well school wasnt that far and we had about 40 minutes to kill so we went to the childrens hospital and sat around. We saw the CUTEST baby in the world. It was amazing. So we did that, and walked like a block away from school, and sat in the Jovans thing, near the dumpster. it was terrible! some worker came in as we were leaving, and was being reallly mean. So we walked to BK because we could tell when school would be getting out from there, and ate fries. It smelled in there. uh. So then we walked down the street my school is on cos my mom was picking us up, and we went to bring MC home. We do that, and then head off to counseling. ok. this was the worst session in my LIFE. I hate having my mom go, and she has to go again next week. He said that I didnt need to be hospitalized, but that he wants me to get a second opinion. I'm glad, because now all they're gonna do is put me on new meds and crap. yay.

the end.

p.s. // my mom talks WAY too much.
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Tuesday, January 8th, 2002

Time:10:45 pm.
oh man, sorry
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Noise, noise, noise, smokin' weed, smokin' weed, doin' coke, drinkin' beers! What's up baby? Sup sluts? You're Jay, and you're all about pussy! You hate guys, you love women! But deep behind your mask of stupidity, some would say you possess knowledge beyond your years. Well, maybe not. Who fuckin' farted?
Take The "Which Kevin Smith Male Are You?" Quiz!!
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Time:6:56 pm.
i am a big yucky mess of terrible thoughts and germs.
tomorrow is my 'big day'.

tomorrow they decide whether or not i need to be in a hospital. i took the day out of school on monday, to clear my head. it didnt work. my mom yelled at me after i told her how i feel, and she bitched and moaned. she was trying to force me to go to school. around 11, she came into my room a big mess of tears, asking me why i hate her so much. asking me why i hate living here so much. asking me why i hate living so much. i couldnt think of a reason, so i just laid there and cried. the only thing i got out of that was a soaking wet pillow.

i hope they dont admitt me. i have to hang out with chris this weekend.
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Saturday, January 5th, 2002

Time:11:48 am.
Today I saw pictures. I was reminded of how much I loved you.
We made so many mistakes together.
But the biggest mistake, I think, was not acting on our feelings.
I tried.

I still think I'd love you if you were still here.

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Friday, January 4th, 2002

Time:11:29 pm.
my lips are in such a terrible mood.

I scrubbed my scar. It looks a million times better. I need to post pictures in this damned thing. I'm a loser.
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Time:7:54 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
I like walking. More now than ever before. Wednesday I needed to be alone, so I walked home. HOME. from school. It took around an hour and a half. I made up narrative in my head the whole way. I wish I could tell you all what I was thinking in my head, but I just can't. I can't put it onto paper. I can't. Words are just too beautiful. Beautiful until you are able to edit them, and switch them around. Words are beautiful in my head, and not for anyone else.

Welcome to our ool.
notice there is no P.
Let's keep it that way.
Gilroy. You're the greatest friend a gal could have. Chin up.
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Wednesday, January 2nd, 2002

Subject:"You have the soul of an artist."
Time:6:34 pm.
Mood: uncomfortable.
I had to go to counseling today. I really am not getting anything out of this. I don't want to go, but I have a few more weeks left. My mom told me to talk to him about what happened on new years eve, and I did. I really don't remember any of what happened during this session. I dont know. I just remember talking about my biology teacher. Oh, and survivor. Upon this, my counselor made the comment used for my subject line. I wish it were last summer. and I didnt make some of the mistakes that I did. and that I didnt become what I am now.
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Tuesday, January 1st, 2002

Time:2:45 pm.
last night sucked. no david. he was supposed to be there, but his mom called and told sue that she would drive him. and. he never showed up. it ruined my night.
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Time:2:28 pm.

Take the Which of Dan's Favorite Bands Are You? Test
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Monday, December 31st, 2001

Time:6:47 pm.
I feel like i'm going to die everytime I use this computer. Maybe I should clean the room / use the other computer. I cant breathe. :/
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Time:6:17 pm.
Mood: anxious.
I watched dancer in the dark tonite. well, just the end, because i like the. next to last song, it's pretty. I cried, of course. I still feel like crap, and i hate meds. Jay(<3) called me around 3 and is like. GUESS WHAT?! and i'm like ?????? and he's all. SUE JUST LEFT TO GO PICK UP DERRICK..... AND GUESS WHO ELSE?! DAVE so i'm all. :DDDD x2436536543654354 cos i love that kid. yeahhh buddy. i miss katy. I guess first nite is a nogo. but i dont mind. i didnt really wanna walk around in the cold. meh.
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Sunday, December 30th, 2001

Time:4:11 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
so ah. i tought my self a song. blink 182 - reckless abandon. IT'S SO EASY. IT'S ALL POWERCHORDS. i love powerchords. i love blink-182. infact. i have my home made blink shirt on now. yay.
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Time:12:48 am.
Mood: accomplished.
So I just got home from chris' show a little while ago.. I got in at 12:40. errrgh.
His band is very good, psa6 was amazing, and uhhhhhhhhh that incubus slipknot crap sucked really bad, but diego and I had fun making fun of them, and the rednecks. uhhh so it was fun. Minus the end. I was almost dead, I could barely breathe in there. I hate that place. Kalynn is a nice girl, it was good to make fun of girls with her. uhh yeah. Chris was hoping my friends would go, but they didnt. hm.

uh. I got my monitor hooked up today. everything is huge.

So I had no ride home from the show, so I walked. and I walked downtown and asked this guy when the next bus was. it was like 11:15 and he's like "probs around 11:30" and some lady agrees. So I fucking wait for the bus. And then i'm like fuck. cos it was like 1145, and the bus hadnt came. so i walked to the place with the schedules, and it said that the last bus was at 1045. and i was fucking pissed. If I didnt wait for the bus I would have been home. So then I walked. and I got to the DMV. and i just like. fell. and lost all hope. I thought I would never get home. I cried for so long, it was weird. I like walking sometimes, because when its night, all you can hear are your feet. and it's so relaxing.eh.

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Saturday, December 29th, 2001

Time:11:52 am.
uhh i just stretched my ears. 4g. I think I'm done now, my mo is pretty pissed.

Ice skating soon. We have no water, i have morning breath.
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Time:12:35 am.
hooray for zoloft. hooray for my mom being a complete and utter bitch. hooray for drug problems. hooray for fucking up my life. hooray for fucking up my chances of ever being able to do anything normally. hooray for my life. I hate being alone.
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LiveJournal for Nicole.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.